Edgier than Bryson, hits harder than Mayle
The Times
 

Have you been taken to what you’ve been assured is the perfect house deep in the French countryside, only to find there’s no electricity or running water? Gone to the doctor with a nasty cough, and been diagnosed with a rather more personal complaint? Walked into an half-empty restaurant, only to be told that it’s complet?

If the answer to any of the above is oui, Talk to the Snail is the book for you.Find out how to get served in a restaurant; the best way to deal with French hypochondria; learn the language of love, sex and suppositories (not necessarily in that order); it’s all here in this funny, informative, seriously useful guide on how to get what you really want from the French.

With advice on essential phrases and bons mots to cover all eventualities, and illustrated with witty real-life anecdotes, Talk to the Snail is a book that no self-respecting Francophile – or Francophobe – can afford to be without.

Don’t go to France without reading this book.
And don’t even think of buying a house there.

Call him the anti-Mayle. Stephen Clarke is acerbic, insulting, un-PC and mostly hilarious.
San Francisco Chronicle

Combines the gaffes of Bridget Jones with the boldness of James Bond…Clarke’s sharp eye for detail and relentless wit make even the most quotidian task seem surreal.
Publishers Weekly

Must have comedy-of-errors diary about being a Brit abroad
Mirror

Done more for the Entente Cordiale than any of our politicians
Daily Mail

Clarke renders the flavor of life in Paris impeccably: the endless strikes, the sadistic receptionists, the crooked schemes by which the wealthy and well-connected land low-rent apartments…Clarke’s eye for detail is terrific.
Washington Post

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