‘The other day there was a feature on the radio about the dangers of asteroids falling from outer space. When David came home he wanted to know why the children were splashing around in the paddling pool wearing their cycle helmets.’

Alice never imagined that she would end up like this. Is she the only mother who feels so permanently panic-stricken at the terrors of the modern world – or is it normal to sit up in bed all night popping bubble wrap? She worries that too much gluten and dairy may be hindering her children’s mental maths. She frets that there are too many cars on the road to let them out of the 4x4. Finally she resolves to take control and tackle her biggest worry of all: her daughter is definitely not going to fail that crucial secondary school entrance exam. Because Alice has decided to take the test in her child’s place . . .

May Contain Nuts is a wonderful satire on the all-consuming madness of modern parenthood; a compelling journey across divided inner-city communities to a place where normal people don’t spend hundreds of pounds to have their four-year-old’s scribbles assessed for signs of genius or pay a handyman to assemble their Kinder Egg toys. With the comic eye for detail that has sent his books to the top of the bestseller lists, John O’Farrell has produced a funny and provocative book that will make you laugh, cry and vow never to become that sort of parent. And then you can pass it on to your seven-year-old, because she really ought to be reading grown-up novels by now . . .

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